How in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an 'AMEN!'" ~ RuPaul
For
the past four months, I've been contemplating love and how I can
make myself available for "the one". But I'm starting to think that this
journey is so much more than that. I think maybe it's about changing my
heart to find more love for myself.
Don't get
me wrong, I think I'm pretty great. I know who I am and what I want out
of life, but there are certain destructive areas of my life that are
holding me back from full self-acceptance and love.
I
wrote that one of my visions for 2013 was to lose 20lbs and this was
for the expressed purpose of being hot enough for someone to deem me
datable. Being fat has been a great way to keep myself isolated and
safe. The literal layers between myself and another human being have
been the constant, single reason for "everything wrong in my life". But
working out and dieting just to be "hot" has never been a good
motivator for me (or else I'd already be smoking hot).
When I start looking at the
reasons why I'm fat, it really does boil down to a general loathing of myself and my
body. Why else would I continue to put fried, greasy, fattening foods or
chemically processed convenience and diet foods into my body when I know
they do nothing to nourish the one and only thing that will be with me
through my entire life?! I put more energy and thoughtfulness into what I
feed my dog than what I feed myself. And while I love her a lot,
shouldn't I at least grant myself the same consideration?
What could be possible if I begin to love and nourish myself physically as well
emotionally and spiritually?! If I love and respect myself as much
as I say I do, I could prove it by becoming more loving and mindful
about how I take care of myself. And there's no time like the present!
No comments:
Post a Comment