Sick of It

I've caught my annual Spring Allergy Sinus Attack and feeling like my head might explode at any moment has put me in a funk. An "I feel bad about myself and everything I haven't accomplished" funk. 

It's already April! How is that possible!? Three full months I've been at this new journey towards love, and well, I don't really feel like I'm anywhere closer to it or any of my visions than I was on December 31st. 

I lost about 3lbs only to gain another 5. I had long, beautiful nails until I got stressed about life and gnawed three of them off. I've had about four too many cigarettes (which averages out to about one per month. That's not too too awful, right?). I've found a lot of great excuses as to why I can't fit salsa dancing into my schedule. And meditation? What's that? The only two visions I can say are on track are my credit cards and this blog (ugh, don't even get me started on my career). 

So with all this work that I still have to do on myself, how is there any time to fit in a relationship? Maybe I just need to chill out with that whole thing, because with all of this "self-improvement" I can't possibly fit in time for a significant other.

I'm finding myself unmotivated to pursue any of the gentlemen from the Speed Date and I don't want to subject myself to anymore of this OKCupid nonsense. So what if I actually do what everyone tells me to do? Just stop looking for it. Work on myself. Find more ways to love myself and the people around me and eventually the universe will help me make space for that right person.