Just Take the Compliment!

I was sitting at the deli counter playing on my iPhone (because that's what New Yorkers do) when the guy sitting next to me turned to me and said, "Excuse me. I don't mean to bother you, but I just want to tell you that you are beautiful and dressed so eloquently."

Okay.

So he obviously meant elegantly (which I wasn't BTDubs), but his little malaprop made me smile so big. However, instead of just enjoying myself and striking up a conversation, I mumbled through some response like, "oh well thank you." And then I started packing up my things to leave.

"I hope I didn't scare you off", he said. "No, not at all. I just have to get to class." And this was true (salsa dancing!) but it just sounded so apologetic and lame. 

Why was I so embarrassed?. He wasn't particularly attractive (I mean, I'm sure he is to someone, just not to me) so it's not like I did my usual "that boy is really cute and we just made eye contact and I can feel myself blushing so I'm going to look away and walk in the opposite direction." No, I was nervous and awkward because he paid me a compliment. 

Why is it so hard for women to take a compliment? If I'm not stuttering through the awkward response above, I'm dismissing it with excuses as to why the complimenter is wrong. 

• "You're really funny in the scene." "Oh no, I'm just being my stupid self."
• "You look really great in that dress." "Oh, god, really? I feel so fat."
• "You're really good at {insert activity of choice}." "Oh gosh, I have no idea what I'm doing." (which is, of course, a total lie since I work really hard at everything I do) 

Why is it so difficult to just say "thank you"? Do we feel like we're going to appear arrogant or egotistical because we're agreeing with our friend that yes, indeed, I am funny, pretty and talented? How can we truly appreciate (love) anyone else if we can't accept appreciation (love) ourselves? Aren't we telling the giver that he is indeed wrong or, worse than that, his opinion doesn't matter? I know I would NEVER do that intentionally, so maybe let's not do it unintentionally?

Challenge: Next time I receive a compliment, I will not dismiss the giver, but instead accept the appreciation with a genuine smile and thank you!