The List

I have a friend ... every relationship story starts out this way ... who made a list of everything she was looking for in a man and within a week (or was it a month?), she started dating a man who was the complete personification of her list. And it wasn't just one friend this happened to, it was THREE. And one of them was a beautiful, older Southern lady and you know she wouldn't lie to me.

So I made a list and put it in my wallet ... three years ago (so much for the immediate power of the list). I pulled it out this morning just to see if it still held true, and surprisingly, it does. All the things I was looking for in a man three years ago are the things I'm still looking for. And maybe that's why I'm still single. This Magic List Man either doesn't exist or my standards/expectations are simply too high.

But why shouldn't they be? I mean, why should I have to settle when it comes to the person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. It's not as if I said, "He has to make six figures, love the ballet over football, always put the toilet seat down, be tall and gorgeous and write me poetry every single day." (That dude actually sounds like a homosexual. I'm sure we'd be great friends). The qualities I'm looking for are the qualities that are fundamental to the person that I am. If I were a staunch PETA supporter, I probably shouldn't be with a fur-wearing carnivore. But I'm wondering if there comes a time when you have to be okay with not getting the things on your list. That yes, in order to have a mate, you do indeed have to settle.

Or just settle for being single.