Write It Off

I wrote this a few weeks ago after an online date cancelled on me. I was at brunch with a friend and when I got the text, I proceeded to knock back mimosas. Quickly. So this embarrassing bit of drivel was written on the drunken subway ride home.

My first date in I don't know how many months ends in this text message ... "Hey, I woke up with strep throat. Can we reschedule?" Oh really? Do you have a doctor in your apartment to swab you AND do a culture hours before you and I are to meet up to find out that you do indeed have this contagious disease? Wow. You're lucky. I wish all my dates had doctors on the ready to decipher if they may or may not be able to pass on to me some sort of disgusting (probably totally false) disease to me.

Good luck with all of that. I hope you feel better.

And for the record, never bother to call me or text me again since you don't have the decency to give me an actual honest reason why you don't want to meet me.

Okay ... 

So clearly I have some anger/trust issues to work through.

My friend LRo, who is so amazingly positive and full of hope, immediately chastised me for my negativity in writing this guy off. "Moods, EVERYONE is getting sick!" It's true, there is a gross plague going around. "Give this guy another chance."

So when the dude texted me later that week, I responded that "Sure, I'd love to reschedule." But I haven't. And not because I'm pissed or anything. I just don't care anymore. I'm no longer interested.

Why is it so easy to write people off after one little slip up? I've heard and said it all. "He didn't open the car door.""He drinks White Zinfandel" "He wore socks when we had sex." "He seemed mildly autistic." "He wore flip flops." "He thrust a tea strainer in my face and told me he put his 'dreams' inside because it was his 'Dream Diffuser'".

I really do wish some of the guys who have dumped me or never called me back would have told me the reasons they wrote me off. I can only imagine. "She bites her finger nails. "She has stubby toes" "Her teeth are too big." "She ordered a cheeseburger AND fries." "She laughs too loud." "She totally biffed it on the sidewalk." (That last one's probably true. I am quite clumsy.)

I'm sure I would be hurt and offended if I really knew their actual reasons for shunning me after only one date. Because one date is not a measure of who this person is. Sure, sometimes there just isn't a spark, but one little slip up shouldn't be the reason we totally discredit a person's worth. Am I free from mistakes? Have I never gotten sick? Have I never made a bad fashion choice? Or chosen a White Zin because sometimes you just want something light and refreshing, damnit!

So my challenge: keeping an open mind. Giving people a chance, and maybe even a second chance. Do not totally discredit a person just because he wears a brown belt with black shoes. Because, obvs, I would never do that ...