Put a Ring on It

Vision #3 - Stop Biting Fingernails

When I was in the 7th grade, I went to my first real boy/girl party. You know, the kind where you sneak sips from the parents' liquor cabinet and slow dance to metal ballads while getting only as far as first base. There were only 3 girls and 3 boys invited to this party. I don't remember if we were purposely paired up or not, but I do remember being really excited because "that boy" was going to be at the party. He was my first crush and would end up being my first kiss, first heartbreak and "the one that got away". But that's another post for another time. 

My gal pals and I were getting ready in my friend's bedroom, waiting for the boys to arrive, when one girl grabs my hand and scolds me. "You're STILL biting your nails? Boys don't like girls who bite their nails. No one will go with you if you do that."

Well, 20 years later, I still bite my nails and sure enough, I'm still single.

 

I suppose if Freud was right, I must have had some sort of trauma in the oral stage of my childhood and this fixation has made a keratin-munching monster. And I've tried everything to break myself of the habit. Bitter-tasting nail polish, band-aids, worry beads, beautiful manicures, chewing gum. All I'm left with is chipped polish and TMJ. 

I've often jokingly thought to myself, "Well, it's a good thing you don't have a significant other because there's no way you could take engagement photos with those ragged, bloody stubs." And it's true. All of my friends with gorgeous rocks on their left hands also have thin, beautifully manicured fingers. 

 

I don't truly believe that there is a strong connection between nail biting and singledom, but I can't imagine a girl is all that alluring with her fingers in her teeth, tearing away bits of her body. Vision #3 is really more about treating myself a little more gently. Caring for myself. Dealing with stress and anxiety in a way that allows me to point to something without showing off a half-eaten finger. 

 

Or maybe just being able to hold another person's hand without embarrassment or fear.