The First

I went on the first of my Speed Date Second Dates last Thursday. We both admittedly couldn't remember the other person very well - I couldn't remember his face, but I remembered what we talked about and he had no idea what we discussed but he remembered my smile. We knew that we were initially interested in learning more about each other so we agreed to meet. 

He picked a beautiful hotel bar in Midtown and I met him there after work. He was there first and already drinking a rather girly martini. No judgements. Those things are tasty and can really knock you on your ass. I settled for red wine since the bar had a great wine menu (which relieved me since I've discovered that, in my older age, vodka makes me angry. But that's another story for another time).

Conversation flowed easily. We talked about the Myers-Briggs test which, thanks to our  iPhones and Google, we discovered that, except for the E and I part, we are exactly the same. Side note: why are people so adamant about using this test nowadays as a gauge for whether or not they're compatible with another human being? It just seems like a more acceptable version of astrology. A person's entire personality is summed up in one easily recognizable category and based on that you decide whether or not they're worth pursuing. Instead of "Oh, you're a Scorpio? I can never date a Scorpio." It's now, "I'm only compatible with ENTPs". 

Anyway.

While I had a great time with him, I really only got a friend vibe from the evening. Don't get me wrong, a gal can always use more friends and I would definitely go out with him again. But based on the tiny text exchange afterwards, I doubt I will hear from him in the future. And that's okay. I feel great about meeting him and I have no regrets. 

So on to the next ....

The Run Down

I know you've all been waiting patiently for the update on my Speed Dating adventures, so I apologize that I've been neglecting you. I was in an all-week training and blah, blah, blah. But enough excuses. Here we go.

I was super excited, but really nervous. When you've been single as long as I've been, you really start to believe that there is something wrong with you. The reason you are single is because you are unattractive, uninteresting and generally unappealling all around

And as soon as that first bell rang, I really wondered what I had gotten myself into. My first "date" was no date. Yeah, apparently some dudes came late so a few of us ladies were dateless. Awesome. So I tried to calm down and not swallow my wine in one gulp and just patiently wait for the next date ....

.... Who flat out told me he had a wife and kids!! Okay, I get that there are all kinds of relationships out there, but Dude! DON'T come to a singles event expecting anyone to be interested in that shit. Any single woman in her 30s who comes to Speed Dating is not looking to be your third or your mistress. Go find an event for that and stop wasting my time.

Once I shook off the disastrous start, I started to have a lot of fun. A lot of the guys commented on my beautiful smile, how easy it was to chat with me and that I seemed like a lot of fun. Okay, so not a complete troll.

There were a few other moments that made say, "huh?" One guy sat down and started grilling me. "Are you in sales? Are you in marketing? Have you ever been married? Do you have any kids?" When I answered no to all of the above, he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. For him, apparently, the ladies had looked unfavorably on him because he's never been married. Come on ladies! Be grateful there's no ex-wife or alimony you have to deal with.

Then there was the super shy librarian who I thought might honestly crumble into a million tiny pieces if a strong breeze came through the bar. (My friend compared him to Milton from Office Space) It was difficult to pry answers out of him, but once he admitted that he finds it hard to trust people, we had a nice, open conversation. Unfortunately, I didn't pick him because let's be honest, I could steam roll this guy and if you've read any of my blog posts up until now, you've probably gathered that I need a man who can stand up to me.

The guys were really interested in the fact that I used to be an actress ("Have you been in anything I would have seen?") including one guy who used his entire three minutes to re-enact his favorite moments from The Big Bang Theory. A bunch of the others wanted to know all about my tattoo and apparently having a tattoo means you're a total tiger in the sack because some of them were not-so-appropriate once they saw it.

But the night ended with two guys out-rightly expressing their interest and I was matched up with four others the next day.

So I feel good about the whole experience. I would definitely recommend it to anyone and everyone (except that dude with a wife and kids). In NYC, it can be difficult to meet new people, so this was a great way to hear different stories, feel new energies, and step out of my comfort zone.

It was a great confidence booster, too. I recognize that I'm not a completely disgusting slob. That I am an interesting person with her shit together (for the most part). There's no need to freak out about being single, because I am a catch and if I keep putting myself out there, eventually someone as equally as wonderful will snatch me up!